New Beginnings
by ocdobsessivecastledisorder
Summary: It had been 7 months since she had been shot, 7 months since she had heard Castle confess his feelings for her, 7 months of keeping it a secret. SOME SPOILERS FOR SEASON 4!
1. Maybe this is the new Beginning

**New Beginnings.  
Chapter One**

**Summary: It had been 7 months since she had been shot, 7 months since she had heard Castle confess his feelings for her, 7 months of keeping it a secret. **

**Disclaimer: Nope, none of the character you recognise are mine **

It had been 7 months since she had been shot, 7 months since she had heard Castle confess his feelings for her, 7 months of keeping it a secret.

Kate Beckett wasn't one to let her walls down, wasn't one to let people in. That was until she met Richard Castle. No matter how much she pushed him way he was always there beside her, always had her back, he was her one and done. It had taken her 7 months to realise this, but during those 7 months her and Castle seem to have been growing closer together, the lingering looks between the two, the extra touch as he passed her, her coffee. But now in the past few weeks Castle has been pulling away. "I have to tell him how I feel, or its going to be too late, I love him. Oh wow, I do, I'm in love with a nine year old on a sugar rush, I'm in love with my best friend." Kate laughed to herself

"Okay, see you tonight? Yeah, okay see you at 7, you too bye"

"Who was that?" Kate asked as Castle hung up the phone and took is seat by the detectives desk.

"oh, um" he was stalling he needed to think of something quick, yes he was only on the phone to Alexis, but to Kate it would have sounded like something completely different, like he had a date. Yes this was good he thought, make her jealous, make her see what she's missing

"well?"

Oh shit she was still looking for an answer, "it was ummm" SHIT I KNOW HEAPS OF PEOPLE WHY CANT I THINK OF ONE PERSON NOW? DAMMIT RICK, PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. AND SAY ANY NAME! he could see the worry on her face, but what was she worried about? She didn't love him, she couldn't love him or she would have told him that she heard months ago, they only reason she didn't was because she didn't love him back. Right?

"Alexis" it just came out. He couldn't lie to her, no matter how annoyed he was at her right now, or how his heart broke a tiny bit more every time he looked at her, knowing that they would be amazing together, knowing that it wouldn't be all that different from how they are now, but with more physical contact, and being together outside the precinct, everything would be the same.

"Oh, so you have plans tonight?" Kate asked

"Yeah, just dinner with Alexis, why do you ask?"

"Umm, well, I wanted to talk to you, but it doesn't matter, you have plans, so maybe another night. I'll see you in the morning Castle. Night" With that said Kate stood up grabbed her jacket and headed for the elevator. 'he has plans tonight, plans with Alexis, not with some random bimbo he picked up of the street, with Alexis, his beautiful caring daughter' Kate thought to herself as she waited for the elevator, she was so deep in thought she didn't hear him approach her, that was until he grabbed her arm and turned her around,

"Kate" the use of her first name had her weak at the knees, he hadn't called her that in weeks.. well not since the bombing case. That's where everything went downhill.

"I can change my plans with Alexis, in fact I already have" his phone went off in his pocket alerting him of a new message, it was from Alexis.

_That's fine, I was gonna txt and see if I could go to Paige's tonight anyway. Movie night tomorrow? Sort things out with Detective Beckett, I hate to see you like this, please. Xox_

He read the message and pocketed his phone. Kate was still looking at him expectantly "and I am now free tonight" Kate felt a small smile pull at her lips. "so you wanted to talk to me?"

Oh yeah, she did. But here at the precinct wasn't the right place to tell him she was completely and madly in love with him, and that she heard is confession. "oh yeah, but not here. Remy's?"

Castle smiled and nodded his head, this would be interesting he thought, might as well give her a chance, see if she is actually going to tell me that she heard and oh I don't know… I shouldn't go, but she's looking at me and smiling and oh god. "yeah" it was out of his mouth before he could even talk himself out of it, after all he could do with talking to her anyway, didn't he have his own secret and maybe now was the right time to tell her.

Kate smiled at his acceptance ' it's a start he said yes, we will talk and then who knows what will happen'

The elevator dinged signalling its arrival and the duo stepped in, ready to have the conversation that both have been avoiding.

Maybe this was the new beginning they were both looking for.

**A.N: So this is my first fan fiction, I know where I want to go with this story, that's if it's well accepted, so please review. **

**Thankyou.**

**Amy  
xx**


	2. The Heart of the Problem

**New Beginnings.  
Chapter Two**

**Summary: It had been 7 months since she had been shot, 7 months since she had heard Castle confess his feelings for her, 7 months of keeping it a secret. **

**Dedication: To the wonderful Beca, who keeps me smiling always... xx**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. **

The short walk to Remy's was done in complete silence, both were thinking about what they were going to say to one another, how it was going to change everything. Walking into Remy's the duo took their usual booth and grabbed a menu each.

"Hey Guys, what can I get for my favourite people today?" the pair looked up from their menu, and saw Rebecca their usual waitress, a friendly young girl, went to school with Alexis. The girl and Alexis had become close friends over the past few months. She served them on a regular basis, and knowing that she already knew their order, they found it cute that she still asked.

"Hey Beca, how are you?" Kate asked hoping to distract away from the fact that she really needed to talk to Castle, just for a while anyway, plus Beca has always been so nice to her every time she comes in.

"Not too bad, busy at school, hey Mr Castle, I'm not sure if Alexis mentioned it but is it okay if I come over on Saturday to finish a paper with Alexis?"

"Oh, um yeah sure, your welcome over anytime, you know that... Anyway I'm starving so ill have…"

"Let me guess, a double bacon cheese burger no salad and a chocolate shake" Beca interrupted

Castle laughed at this "you got it and Beckett will have….."

"The usual too I'm guessing and a strawberry shake? still what a bowl of fries to share?" Beca asked with a smile on her face, she enjoyed seeing these two together, but today something seemed different, they had barely looked at each other since they walked in, and you could cut the tension with a knife. Beca looked from Castle to Beckett who were both silently reading the menu, even though they had ordered, it was obviously something to do to avoid looking at each other, or talking for that matter.

"Um yeah, thanks Beca" Kate looked up passing the menu to Beca, indicating that it was time for her to leave the two of them alone.

"Alright, I'll get on to that now" taking Castle's menu she went off to get the food and drinks.

The pair sat in silence for a few more minutes before Beckett couldn't take the silence anymore, she needed to say something and the sooner the better.

"Hey, Rick. Is, is everything okay with us?"

"I don't know Kate….Why don't you tell me?"

"Whoa, wait are you trying to say I've done something wrong? Cause as far as I'm aware I haven't treated you any different in the past few weeks. You're. I don't know you seem different, and I can't figure out why?" Kate was both angry and confused she didn't remember doing anything to hurt Castle's feelings or to generally piss him off. She didn't understand why he was acting like such a jack ass. "Does this have something to do with the bombing case and that kid?" she saw it expression change, it was a quick eye flick to her and then back out the window, and at that point she knew she had the answer, but she then had to figure out what exactly it was that had gotten him so pissed at her for him to be acting like this.

"It was wasn't it, you weren't there they day I had him in the box, I came out after interrogation and saw the coffee." Castle was looking at her, waiting for her to put the pieces together, for her to get there on her own, he knew she would, she wasn't stupid.

"I asked Espo, if you had been there, he, he said you had to go somewhere, and left."

There was a pause he could see her thinking back to that day everything that happened. He saw it click in her eyes; he knew the instant she had figured it out. She knew why.

"You, you were there." Her voice was soft now barely a whisper but he was so attuned to her he heard her, but didn't contribute he let her talk herself through it.

"You were in the observation room when I was interrogating the kid, you heard me…" she stopped when she heard footsteps coming towards them, she dropped her head. Everything made sense now, he thinks I don't love him, thinks I don't care that's why I didn't tell him I remembered, he's dating the bimbos to get over me. She heard Castle mumble a thank you to Beca as the food was delivered, she didn't look up as Castle started to speak.

"Yeah, I was in observation, I was so in awe of the way you handled him, trying to get him to fess up, and then you just came right out and said it, you remember every second of it. You said it like it was nothing like you say that to everyone. You use that to get him to remember what he said; you could have said anything but you said that! That you remembered, all this time you remembered." There was venom in his voice, she could tell his was pissed off at her and he had every right to be, but she still couldn't bring her eyes to meet his. "So tell me Kate, knowing how I feel about you, knowing all this time, dragging me around like some dumb love sick puppy, I thought you had feeling for me, so tell me now Kate, if you don't have feelings for me at all, you denying it, I can see it in your eyes, and so can everyone else at work, the only person who seems to be oblivious to us is you. You know what, I can't sit here anymore and know that you know I love you and you not say anything to me." Castle stood up slammed a $50 on the table to cover the meals and left the diner.

Kate heard the diner door open and close again, it took her all of 10 seconds to realise that he had it all wrong, he was so far off the right road. She couldn't just let him walk out of there like that; she was up and out of her seat and flying out the door before Castle even got a chance to hail a cab.

"RICK"

"What Kate, what is it? Haven't you put me through enough, just let me go. I need to deal with this by myself, being around you all the time isn't helping; I can't stand to be around you knowing you don't feel the same way about me. I can't"

Beckett could see the tears in his eyes, and it was breaking her heart, he continued talking about how he can't see her anymore and how they had worked their last case together. She couldn't stand it, she had to do something.

She stepped into his personal space rose up on the balls of her feet put her arms around his neck and kissed him. It took a minute for him to respond but when he did his arms slipped around her waist pulling her closer, her hands went into his hair and she opened her mouth inviting him in, which of course he took, when they broke for air, he didn't want to let her go and she didn't want to leave his embrace, they lent their foreheads against each other, and she looked him straight in the eyes.

"I love you Richard Castle, Always have, and ALWAYS will."

**A.N: Sooo I want to thank all of you who read the first chapter, it was an amazing response… thankyou to togetherwewillrise for reviewing, and your kind words mean a lot!**

**This chapter went in a totally different direction than I had expected but I'm still happy with it, and as before read and review guys**


	3. The Upper Hand

**New Beginnings.  
Chapter Three**

**Summary: It had been 7 months since she had been shot, 7 months since she had heard Castle confess his feelings for her, 7 months of keeping it a secret.  
**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. **

_Previously on New Beginnings:_

_She stepped into his personal space rose up on the balls of her feet put her arms around his neck and kissed him. It took a minute for him to respond but when he did his arms slipped around her waist pulling her closer, her hands went into his hair and she opened her mouth inviting him in, which of course he took, when they broke for air, he didn't want to let her go and she didn't want to leave his embrace, they lent their foreheads against each other, and she looked him straight in the eyes._

"_I love you Richard Castle, Always have, and ALWAYS will."_

Ricks eyes slammed shut upon hearing her confession. He couldn't believe what he had just heard, had he heard correctly, she loved him. Always had loved him. Then why? Why had she pushed him away last summer, why hadn't she told him that she had heard him? All these questions were whirling around in his head, he wanted answers to those, he wanted to understand her story more than ever before, he just wanted to know. Its wasn't until he felt Kates arms loosen from around his neck that he realised that it had been a couple of minutes since her confession and he hadn't said anything, he shut himself off. When he finally opened his eyes, her face was blank, she looked desperate she looked confessed, she looked like she was going to turn and run, like she always did.

Her mind was running, he didn't say anything back, not that she really expected him to confess his love again, he was hurting and she understood that but any kind of response would have been appreciated, but no in a completely Kate Beckett sense he closed off. She was about to leave to walk away and let him come around to her confession. She was about to take a step away when his arms around her tightened. So she stayed, her forehead pressed against his just breathing each other in. He was going to ask her why to all the thoughts in his head, why? But he couldn't. he opened his mouth to say something, anything but no words came out.

She laughed then, light and soft, "For a bestselling author, you're not doing too well on forming a sentence now are you Rick?"

It was then that his eyes opened, they weren't clouded like they had been for the past few weeks, they were clear. "and for someone who isn't one to share her feelings, you just did a very good job of it." This is what they were good at, the back and forth, banter. This was them, not closed off from one another. This was them, pure and simple, what their friendship was built upon.

"We need to talk" Castle said after a moment "but not here, how about my place, Mother and Alexis are out at the theatre tonight, which means the loft is empty?" a smile blossomed on her face, this was good, this was right.

"Sure Castle, lets get out of here"

She grabbed his hand and hailed a cab.

"Why is it that when I want a cab I can never get one" Castle said after the fourth cab had passed them. Beckett had to laugh, he was so utterly desperate, but he had a point, why was it taking so long? Looking up at the sky, it had started to cloud over, the wind picking up slightly, they had to get inside soon, she remembered seeing a storm coming in on the news this morning, and a rather large one too. They seriously had to grab a cab soon or they would be caught in the downpour.

"Castle" Beckett said calmly as he paced along the curb edge annoying with all the taxi drivers in New York that he couldn't get a single taxi! "Castle" she said again with more force in her voice that it got him to turn around. "Why don't we walk? Its not that far, and if we don't get moving, we will end up getting drenched wet through with the rain"

He didn't answer he grabbed her hand and headed down the street his loft.

They spent a good 10 minutes speed walking through the bustling streets, in complete silence her just trailing behind him, still holding his hand but it was too busy to walk side by side. She had had enough of not talking, they haven't been talking in days, and now all she wants to do is talk to him, or not. It wasn't until they were at the end of his street that they could walk next to each other. A few minutes of walking next to each other in complete silence was too much for Kate to handle "Look, Castle. I know you're….." she didn't even reach the end of her sentence when she was being backed against a wall and Castle had his lips on hers, so much need behind the kiss. His tongue stroked her bottom lip asking for entrance and she gave in, she couldn't help it. One hand went into his hair falling to the nape of his neck as the other snaked up his chest to his ear. Castle laughed into the kiss, "Kate, don't you dare pull my ear, it would be totally uncalled for and would deserve punishment this time" She kissed along his cheek bone to his ear and whispered "only if you keep your promise on that punishment Mr Castle" and at the she sucked his lobe into her mouth and bit down tenderly, creating him to yelp. He pulled back and laughed at her, her eyes had darkened some since leaving Remys and walking back to the loft, he knew what was in store for the night and talking seemed to be at the bottom of the list for now. No, he needed to talk to her, he needed to understand before he jumped into this, and she push him away again further into this relationship. He dropped his forehead against hers kissed her nose, when he felt a splash of water on his face. He kissed her again, putting all his feelings in the kiss. No matter what he had thought recently he loved her, he couldn't hide it, he loved her more than he had ever loved anyone before. He stoked the hair back behind her ear when he felt several drops of water, the both looked up at the same time, looked back at each other and laughed. It was about to start pouring down and they have at least another 500 meters to go before they were back at his building, and there was no way they were going to make it there without getting completely soaked to the bone.

"3,2,1 GO!" and without any other warning Castle ran off int the direction of his building, leaving her behind looking completely lost. Castle ran about 50m when he realised that she wasn't behind him, he turned around to see she was exactly where he left her. "YOU COMING KATE?" he shouted to Kate.  
Oh she was coming alright, she just needed to think of a plan to distract him so she could win, and beat him at his own game, she walked slowly towards him, a plan forming in her mind.

When she got to him she rolled forward on the balls of her feet hands on his chest and kissed him softly, his hands found their way into her back pockets, as he tried to deepen the kiss, but she wouldn't let him have the upper hand on this, no way she was going to win this little game he had decided to play with her. One of her hands the slid down his chest and onto the waist band of his jeans. She brushed her nose along side his and whispered in his ear "only if you are" as she grabbed his crotch and squeezed, and with that she ran off.

She knew it was a bold move even for her but he shouldn't have her all wound up in the first place and then run and leave her, now she had the upper hand.

Oh no, she didn't do that. Castle stood there dumbstruck for a few seconds and ran after her, oh he was sooo going to get her back for that. By the time he reached his building they were both wet through and laughing, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into him. Kissing her hard, he backed her into the lobby wall and pushed the button for the lift. Kate moaned into the kiss and Castle's hand went to her thigh to lift her leg up and Kate pushed up of the floor and wrapped both legs around him.

They were too caught up in the kiss to hear footsteps approaching. And voices stop suddenly.

"RICHARD, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON"

_TBC_


End file.
